Weaned or not weaned?

So the biggest change in our lives, influenced by my pregnancy, is the end of breastfeeding - an end of an era.

Still recently, when writing a post for World Breastfeeding Week, I kept the pregnancy a secret, as we were still going strong in breastfeeding. In spite of problems, struggles and ups and downs. Because every woman is different, when it comes to pregnancy and breastfeeding (really - you can read and hear of all the range, from total inability continuing breastfeeding for various reasons, till no problems whatsoever, continuing to breastfeed and even tandem-feed). In my case, it wasn't easy. Wasn't easy from the very beginning, as pregnancy caused immediate physical discomfort while nursing Adelaide, extra sensitiveness and initial doubts whether continuing to breastfeed is safe for the new baby.

I found out that (in my case, same as in most cases) it was completely safe to continue breastfeeding, while pregnant. How well would it work, that was a different question.
Ultimately, I was happy to continue breastfeeding, as I definitely did not want to wean Adelaide forcefully - she was just around 1 year old, she had a desperate need and want for breast. So I gathered my strength and powered through it, finding it to be the best for us all.

There were better times, when I didn't suffer too much, and then there were worse times. Adelaide started to sleep worse, way worse. If at first it seemed like just a phase, the phase started to last longer and longer, until being pretty much permanent. And my physical discomfort, especially at night, grew with it.

My milk supply decreased (at least it seemed that way, and it should be common for the 2nd trimester of pregnancy, it doesn't mean however, that the milk would run out totally, and also for me there still was something), Adelaide's latch got somehow worse, making it more uncomfortable for me.
And if like a month ago, let's say - end of July, start of August - she still showed this big need for nursing, asking many times a day, then during August it slowly decreased, in the middle of the month she would nurse only once a day (for the nap) or maybe twice, but not more. Still, being on the breast sometimes all night through.

So that became the biggest issue - for a while we did like this, that once I couldn't anymore physically bare it, I woke up Mr. Husband and he took Adelaide, putting her back to sleep in his arms, which overally worked perfectly, as that anyway has been the main way she falls asleep since May already.
However, sometimes it caused unhappiness from her side - if she just had had the breast, and then suddenly I would take it away, well.. naturally, she was not happy and it took a longer time for her to settle back down. Those were not easy nights..

I did all the googling I possibly could.. (The best info always comes from La Leche League.) And I was aware of the possibility of night weaning, not uncommon for pregnant women, and possible gentle ways to do it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it for some time..

Until one particularly bad night. The following night I just took my blanket and went to sleep upstairs. Mr. Husband had suggested this a long time ago. (And the father taking over night-time parenting as a possible solution in difficult situations is suggested also by Dr. Sears.) I was afraid she would cry a lot. I would have come back then, of course. But you know what?! To my surprise - she didn't! Two first nights were surprisingly good, of course she woke up and cried for a second, but Mr. Husband could rock her back to sleep very quickly.
It was followed by two worse nights, when she also didn't cry much, just woke up very frequently. But then.. She started sleeping better and better. And in about a week she woke up only 2-3 times a night, instead of 100 times, as it used to be before.
It became also easier and easier to comfort her back to sleep. Eventually, didn't have to anymore get out of the bed and rock her, it was enough to just put hands on her, hold her close, and rock a little bit back and forth.

It was surprisingly successful. Obviously it meant, that she was more or less ready to manage without the breast.
It was a bit scary for me to return to the bed, but that went fine as well - from now on also I could just cuddle her back to sleep, she didn't require the breast anymore.

So that was our amazingly successful attempt of night weaning. :)

At first, feeling a bit guilty, I offered her to nurse a bit more during the day. But actually - as the days passed - she got less and less interested! I still put her to sleep during the day while breastfeeding. It had worked perfectly and easily for a long time. But not anymore.. It took longer and longer time for her to fall asleep that way.
Until finally, she stopped asking for the breast totally. And once, it was 29th of August, it took me an hour to put her to sleep, she would nurse, but she wouldn't fall asleep.. Until I just put her to sleep in the Tula baby carrier.

And I thought that she weaned herself that day. Because on the days to come she would fall asleep differently, and she wouldn't ask for the breast anymore. At all.

However, to my surprise, in 10 days, where she hadn't nursed once, when I once tried to put her to sleep in the bed, she asked for the breast again. So I gave it and she nursed to sleep. And it happened once more after that. That's why I am not sure - is she totally weaned yet or not? Definitely somewhere close.

So, one big part of our relationship has ended. I was feeling a bit melancholic.. As I hadn't expected for it to happen so soon (I only wanted to night-wean, but was fine with continuing to breastfeed her during the day, even when the new baby arrives). And probably it all would have been different, if I wouldn't be pregnant, but it is what it is.

Even though it is different than I had imagined, it is perfect.. I am so happy that it could happen so easily, so child-friendly way, and that she didn't need to suffer at all. (Of course, I am also relieved that I can sleep now, get some rest at least for a couple of months before it starts all over again..)

But our breastfeeding journey was indeed a true blessing, it was the best.


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