Book Review: Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings
As Siblings Without Rivalry didn't really cover any of my concerns, when it comes to welcoming a new baby in the family, while same time having a young toddler, I wanted to find something better on this subject. There are plenty of parenting books on siblings out there, I was searching through Amazon's reviews, and finally found this one - Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings - it had the best reviews and seemed to be something of my taste, and it turned out, it really was.
This is a total Attachment Parenting book, or Gentle Parenting, name how you want, I call it - Normal Parenting. It is against any punishment, even the popular time-outs (which is so refreshing and still sometimes rare, but great, as I am too), it's all about connecting with your child. And basically, the idea of the book is - if the connection with your child(ren) is good, if everything is right with it, if they feel safe and loved, then you basically will not have (any much) of behavior issues, acting out, and even horrible relationships between siblings. Because, if there is a problem, if the child is acting badly, obviously - it means that something is wrong. And punishing will not work. It only will make things worse. What you have to do in that case, is question and re-evaluate yourself and your relationship with your child, find out, what might be wrong and fix it. And accordingly, the well-being and feeling of security of the child is what influences his or her relationship with the sibling the most. This book guides and helps you to think, how to organize your life and family, so that children would feel secure and loved, and wouldn't need to feel too threatened or jealous of their sibling. It's one great book, I must say!
Also this book has a lot of great practical advice and gives a lot of examples, how to deal with situations in the possibly best way. The first two chapters are again something that I will have to re-read in a year or two.
But what's best about this book right now - it has a third chapter - Before The New Baby And Through The First Year - which was exactly what I needed, and what I would suggest to read for everyone in the same situation.
I wouldn't say, it was like - wow - something totally new. Much of the advice was already something that I had thought of myself.. But it was great to read it all at once, lots of good and realistic suggestions - exactly how to organize your life in this difficult period, what priorities to set and how to make the transition for your older child as easy as possible.. A lot of what I wrote in my post The Big Plan, is with the advice of this book.
The book was even overwhelming at places, as it pretty much lays all the responsibility on you - as a parent. How we act, what relationship we have with each child, is what matters. Nothing else. And there is no quick fix for problems. Same time, it's reassuring, for the same reason. If we are going to have a truly loving and close relationship with the children, everything should be just fine..
The author has another famous book as well, I would even like to read it! If you're in a search of an overall parenting book to read, I'm sure that Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting - is worth it.
This is a total Attachment Parenting book, or Gentle Parenting, name how you want, I call it - Normal Parenting. It is against any punishment, even the popular time-outs (which is so refreshing and still sometimes rare, but great, as I am too), it's all about connecting with your child. And basically, the idea of the book is - if the connection with your child(ren) is good, if everything is right with it, if they feel safe and loved, then you basically will not have (any much) of behavior issues, acting out, and even horrible relationships between siblings. Because, if there is a problem, if the child is acting badly, obviously - it means that something is wrong. And punishing will not work. It only will make things worse. What you have to do in that case, is question and re-evaluate yourself and your relationship with your child, find out, what might be wrong and fix it. And accordingly, the well-being and feeling of security of the child is what influences his or her relationship with the sibling the most. This book guides and helps you to think, how to organize your life and family, so that children would feel secure and loved, and wouldn't need to feel too threatened or jealous of their sibling. It's one great book, I must say!
Also this book has a lot of great practical advice and gives a lot of examples, how to deal with situations in the possibly best way. The first two chapters are again something that I will have to re-read in a year or two.
But what's best about this book right now - it has a third chapter - Before The New Baby And Through The First Year - which was exactly what I needed, and what I would suggest to read for everyone in the same situation.
I wouldn't say, it was like - wow - something totally new. Much of the advice was already something that I had thought of myself.. But it was great to read it all at once, lots of good and realistic suggestions - exactly how to organize your life in this difficult period, what priorities to set and how to make the transition for your older child as easy as possible.. A lot of what I wrote in my post The Big Plan, is with the advice of this book.
The book was even overwhelming at places, as it pretty much lays all the responsibility on you - as a parent. How we act, what relationship we have with each child, is what matters. Nothing else. And there is no quick fix for problems. Same time, it's reassuring, for the same reason. If we are going to have a truly loving and close relationship with the children, everything should be just fine..
The author has another famous book as well, I would even like to read it! If you're in a search of an overall parenting book to read, I'm sure that Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting - is worth it.
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