The Big Plan
So.. the time is ticking, days are passing, and actually - the newest member
of our family could join us and the outside world any day now. (Crazy!)
In addition to preparing the newborn clothes and other things, I am
preparing also by reading a couple of books on siblings and what to expect, or more so - how to deal with the new situation. Because, what I hear.. it is not going to be easy.
Of course, we could just go with the flow.. But you can always use bit of some good advice.
Adelaide is still so very little.. We can't know, how exactly she is going to react and accept the new baby (no-one really knows, as the stories and versions, and other people's experiences are so different), but a couple of things are a given: she definitely still needs all or almost all of our (and my) attention, every day. She will not want to give that attention away. She will not just magically become independent and start playing for long periods of time on her own. And she might become jealous, hurt and resentful towards the baby and the new situation, if she feels like she is missing out or being suddenly neglected.
I sort of know, or at least have some ideas, how I am planning to deal with it.. Of course, the first two weeks, while Mr. Husband will have the father's vacation, will be a bit easier, but once he's back at work (even if working from home), it's going to be a lot up to just me (freakishly scary as it is). But my plan is - giving all the possible free time and attention to Adelaide, trying to make her feel like nothing much has changed. I am going to try to feed the baby on the couch and same time read books with Adelaide, as that anyway is her favorite thing to do (hopefully she doesn't mind). Planning to babywear the baby a lot (and also to breastfeed while babywearing), so I can still play and cook, and draw with Adelaide, and even go for walks with her (I'm a bit confused with the winter baby and when can we go outside for the first time, but I guess it depends a lot on the weather).
I actually can't picture, how much the newborn is going to influence the flow of our lives.. But for the times, when she will actually need my full attention, I'm planning to include Adelaide, inviting her to "help" me with the baby, similarly as she is helping me in the kitchen. Hopefully, she enjoys that as well..
Other parts from my plan are: organizing, so that both me and Mr. Husband have an alone time with Adelaide, without the baby (and the other one has a chance to bond just with the baby, so a win-win), ideally there should be such time every day, but we'll see, how that goes and when will be the best moments for that. And, of course, there also must be times, when Mr. Husband is going to spend time with both of his princesses and I am going to have a little rest! Of course, at first it will be a length of a shower, but in all seriousness - mommy needs a break too. Which is actually a very important part of the plan - because my sanity and well-being is essential, when it comes to taking care of two children, and doing it well.
Oh, well, when it comes to nap times and bath times, we'll see.. Kinda have some ideas of the organization of those, but can't know exactly. The question of putting two children to sleep at the same time probably is the most biggest challenge.. In the worst case, we can split the job and still put them to sleep separately. Ideally, of course, one person should be able to deal with both of the children, but here the biggest question is, how much Adelaide will mind, if there is a baby too, most likely latched on to me, while it's her time of cuddles before sleep. If somehow she can co-exist and share these moments with the baby, it might not be that bad.
Of course, Adelaide's reaction is not the only unknown factor here, also - how will the new baby be?! Babies are different! Naturally, I can only imagine the same scenario as with Adelaide - she was a calm and happy baby, I'd say. It felt normal to me, that she was constantly held and didn't want to be put down alone almost ever. We gave her all the closeness she needed and wanted, so she almost never cried. I wouldn't mind, if the second baby would be the same. But who knows, she might be totally different. At least now.. still in the womb, she truly does feel different than Adelaide. She is a different person.
A lot of unknown is in front of us. Naturally, we are both excited and a little scared.. But I know, that in the end it will be all worth it, all wonderful..
There still might.. and will be some hard times, I believe that. That's why a little preparing is good. And this was actually supposed to be a Book Review post - because I have read two books on raising siblings - Siblings Without Rivalry and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings. But I guess this turned out a place to write down my little concerns and my royal plan of how to deal with it. But the book reviews will follow. :)
Of course, we could just go with the flow.. But you can always use bit of some good advice.
Adelaide is still so very little.. We can't know, how exactly she is going to react and accept the new baby (no-one really knows, as the stories and versions, and other people's experiences are so different), but a couple of things are a given: she definitely still needs all or almost all of our (and my) attention, every day. She will not want to give that attention away. She will not just magically become independent and start playing for long periods of time on her own. And she might become jealous, hurt and resentful towards the baby and the new situation, if she feels like she is missing out or being suddenly neglected.
I sort of know, or at least have some ideas, how I am planning to deal with it.. Of course, the first two weeks, while Mr. Husband will have the father's vacation, will be a bit easier, but once he's back at work (even if working from home), it's going to be a lot up to just me (freakishly scary as it is). But my plan is - giving all the possible free time and attention to Adelaide, trying to make her feel like nothing much has changed. I am going to try to feed the baby on the couch and same time read books with Adelaide, as that anyway is her favorite thing to do (hopefully she doesn't mind). Planning to babywear the baby a lot (and also to breastfeed while babywearing), so I can still play and cook, and draw with Adelaide, and even go for walks with her (I'm a bit confused with the winter baby and when can we go outside for the first time, but I guess it depends a lot on the weather).
I actually can't picture, how much the newborn is going to influence the flow of our lives.. But for the times, when she will actually need my full attention, I'm planning to include Adelaide, inviting her to "help" me with the baby, similarly as she is helping me in the kitchen. Hopefully, she enjoys that as well..
Other parts from my plan are: organizing, so that both me and Mr. Husband have an alone time with Adelaide, without the baby (and the other one has a chance to bond just with the baby, so a win-win), ideally there should be such time every day, but we'll see, how that goes and when will be the best moments for that. And, of course, there also must be times, when Mr. Husband is going to spend time with both of his princesses and I am going to have a little rest! Of course, at first it will be a length of a shower, but in all seriousness - mommy needs a break too. Which is actually a very important part of the plan - because my sanity and well-being is essential, when it comes to taking care of two children, and doing it well.
Oh, well, when it comes to nap times and bath times, we'll see.. Kinda have some ideas of the organization of those, but can't know exactly. The question of putting two children to sleep at the same time probably is the most biggest challenge.. In the worst case, we can split the job and still put them to sleep separately. Ideally, of course, one person should be able to deal with both of the children, but here the biggest question is, how much Adelaide will mind, if there is a baby too, most likely latched on to me, while it's her time of cuddles before sleep. If somehow she can co-exist and share these moments with the baby, it might not be that bad.
Of course, Adelaide's reaction is not the only unknown factor here, also - how will the new baby be?! Babies are different! Naturally, I can only imagine the same scenario as with Adelaide - she was a calm and happy baby, I'd say. It felt normal to me, that she was constantly held and didn't want to be put down alone almost ever. We gave her all the closeness she needed and wanted, so she almost never cried. I wouldn't mind, if the second baby would be the same. But who knows, she might be totally different. At least now.. still in the womb, she truly does feel different than Adelaide. She is a different person.
A lot of unknown is in front of us. Naturally, we are both excited and a little scared.. But I know, that in the end it will be all worth it, all wonderful..
There still might.. and will be some hard times, I believe that. That's why a little preparing is good. And this was actually supposed to be a Book Review post - because I have read two books on raising siblings - Siblings Without Rivalry and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings. But I guess this turned out a place to write down my little concerns and my royal plan of how to deal with it. But the book reviews will follow. :)
Can't believe we are spending the last days as a family of three..
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