Bad at minimalism

One problem with lack of time lately (obviously a consequence you have to face, if make too many babies in a row..) is that there is no time to clean. I have never been a really tidy person, but I still like my home in some sort of order. But with our life recently.. Cleaning is just not a priority, I admit. I do only the essentials that are absolutely necessary. 

And some sort of change was due. Our (small) home was getting really cluttered. With toys, Adelaide's things, I mean. They are not bad things.. 90% of her things are very thought through, considered purchases and some are dear gifts. We have never been those parents that will just buy a lot of toys, not giving it much thought. Also, Montessori, of course, means minimalism in things. We try to stick to this in most cases, some things, like Adelaide's dolls and everything that goes with them, is not Montessori, but is imaginative play, that she loves.

Ok, well, no more excuses. Point is, there just were too many. And space is an issue, all of this happens in our small living room, that has to host all of Adelaide's things. And we were tripping over them.

Today, a free Sunday, I decided to give it a go.. Do some decluttering or purging. At first I brought all the things that just are too many to the center and took most of them away, upstairs (where they will be partly put away, but partly she can play with them, when she comes upstairs - this doesn't happen often, but sometimes, if one of us has to do something up there). 

The biggest problem were these big items, all for gross motor, all loved by Adelaide at some point - the rocking horse (which she hasn't used in quite a long time), the pushing cart (that she uses rarely), the jumpy animal (used sometimes, but more for pretend play than jumping), two doll cradles (one was given to us, she likes those and good for storing dolls, but don't need two) and her bike. Bike stays, bike is a favorite, she often rides around the house, basically - we need to get her a real balance bike for outside. (So, more stuff.) Also music instruments are brought here, which she rarely touches (loved by all the children, always, who visit us). And a basket that is full of all kinds of doll and other gear - clothing, scarfs, hats, bags etc, full. 

My heart ached as I took those things away.. Many are dear.. She has really loved all of her dolls at some point, but somehow too many have come to live with us, she just doesn't need so many, it was obvious, as she lately was playing with one or two of them, at most. Here's why I'm a bad minimalist.. I get attached to things.

And then there's the after picture, what stayed.

It was really hard to start, but once I took some of the things away.. It's an adrenaline rush or something. You start liking the space, the emptiness.. And the idea of orderly, clean home.

The same problem was with the puzzles and books. Too crowded, too many at once. I started with one, but as she was showing interest.. I brought more, and it backfired. No interest, no more.  I left one of each puzzle (maybe should get some new puzzles.. She seemed to have mastered these, actually), and the books I organized. I'm not getting rid of books, of course, but I will store them, and do more rotation - when some books are brought out again, it sparks a new interest.

Rotation is something that I haven't done much.. But obviously I should. It actually works. I had put away many of her materials, but in a bad place - on a shelf in our bedroom, where she could see them. So she already noticed, that they're there, and started choosing there - I want this now! That just doesn't work. Now all of these things will be stored out from sight, I finally made a storage unit.

The decluttering went on to Jasmiina's things as well.. There were too many baby toys on the floor, she doesn't need that many. We already have noticed, which ones she likes better.

And even the lambskin and mobile holder said bye-bye. Lambskin was too fluffy, she kept grabbing it, and the mobile holder doesn't seem necessary anymore, as she can hold onto toys well enough now, and also I like to place toys on her sides now, to encourage rolling. Oh, how clean and nice.. Feels like can breathe now.

I kept going and took away some things from Adelaide's shelves that she didn't seem to be using. This is nothing new, I have kept the shelves nice always.. But the difference this time - I didn't place anything new on them this time! Basically, there stayed two sets of building blocks, one shape sorting game, one lacing material and one color sorting, that she likes right now because of using tweezers. And that's it. (The Before picture can see here.)

The temptation to place something new for her was big, I almost did..  I kept thinking - she should have something more, something new.. I should figure out a new activity for her..

But I didn't. Truth be told, I wanted to see, how will this new life be. With less stuff, almost no toys. I have read articles like that, were parents get rid of all of their children's toys (like this one), and they say that children don't notice the difference, that they don't ask for the stuff back, that they happily play with the very few things left, and are overally calmer and more content.

And this was the case with Adelaide too, she didn't notice anything. She wanted to paint. I also cleaned away her art station, left only usual pencils and watercolors, and the gluing tray, that she likes lately. I made a change, that I placed the watercolors totally available for her now (I was scared before, so kept them in my, not her reach). She actually loves them, so I figured.. I will let her artistic side blossom.

So no new work, no new materials and toys. Not yet. Of course, sometime.. Eventually. But at first I will do the real Montessori thing and really observe her. Try to see, what does she like and what is she interested in. And eventually will come also new tasks. Hopefully, not a new mess.

With all this new clean home I feel calmer. I don't have to stress about the mess. Now, even if these couple of things are misplaced, they don't even make a mess. It's one second to pick them up, and I already feel more relaxed and more able to calmly go and have adventures with her. It's summer, so I plan to enjoy it. Less tasks inside, more - simply discovering outside. Swinging, sliding, picking flowers, gardening.. I'm excited.

I'm telling this (a little bit embarrassing) story to tell our not-so-perfect way. I'm far from a perfect Montessori-st (here's an article on this from my favorite Montessori blog) or from a perfect parent, but this is the journey.
You can do this, parenting, differently. I see some families, who do actually have a lot of stuff, a lot of materials, toys, they seem to offer 5 different activities a day. And maybe it works for some, but in parenting I personally appreciate the simplicity more. I'm not a minimalist, never will be, but I do think simplicity is a key to a happy childhood. Less is more. Less stuff, less toys, less organized activities, more time for boredom, for imagination, for connection, for fun and relationships. At least I hope so.