Media or media free
I'm on a Waldorf-themed Facebook group (on Montessori too), every day being able to see and read about interesting ideas, habits, thoughts and concerns etc of other parents from that community. Sometimes it's interesting, sometimes funny, sometimes annoying, sometimes educational.
One of the common subjects, especially on the Waldorf group, is being media-free. According to Waldorf, children (and people in general, I guess?) don't benefit from any media of any kind, it harms them, so "Waldorf families" are trying to be media free. (Funny to discuss it on a FB group, but ok.. ;))
Similar with Montessori, perhaps not so radical, but there a lot of Montessori-inspired articles of no screen time for children, especially little children.
I seems like a simple subject.. Do you have to be a genius to realize that babies and little children don't gain anything from screens, but it harms them in many ways? Especially children under age of 2. They really should not have any exposure to these things, it's what all the medical and educational articles say, not only the Montessori and Waldorf ones.
But obviously it's not so simple for many people.. Some think it's admirable and cool, that a 1-year old is able to play some "educational" game on a smartphone app. And that a 3-year-old knows, how to use a computer. Pretty much - "the earlier they start, the better". Like, if a child will not learn to use a computer before school, then he or she will be tremendously behind, and stay stupid in comparison to his peers, forever.
Right.
We are an interesting generation here, because we grew up pretty much without computers, but they came into our lives gradually. We are still the dinosaurs that remember the old days, with no mobile phones and wi-fi.
I was exactly thinking the other day.. Seeing one of those promo videos, that say: Go off your screen and actually talk with people. And I realised, that we still do understand the insanity of the current world, where everyone is in their phone, but for our children it will be a total norm.. Life. That's horrifying. (You probably have seen a movie, WALL-E.)
That's why I don't understand, or don't support this "go totally media-free". I often read that people throw away their TV-sets or even computers (meanwhile hiding a tablet in their bedroom..), but I don't think it's necessarily the best way to go.
There are many families with no TV's, and that is no big deal anymore. A family with no laptop or any screen would be a big deal..
How you use and what, is your choice. But the main thing, when it comes to raising children, I think, is that our task is not to take these things away from them totally (I'm talking about children older than age 3 or more), but our task is to model a healthy media and screen usage and attitude.
It's pretty much the same with anything. You can take away all the sweets and candy from them whatsoever, yes, because it's better for them, but what happens when they grow up and suddenly see those things in the world and are able to do their own choices? They might continue your way.. (after a rebellious period), but they might not. And it might go very wrong.
That's why, our job is to teach them to make those choices. Sensible choices. When it comes to media - teach the advantages of it, the many so convenient and useful tools, show that it can be fun, but same time show an example, that there are other things in the world, that are more fun and more rewarding. Don't throw away your TV-set (if you have one), show your children an important event, show or concert, don't hide your computer, but teach them to use it for meaningful purposes, strictly limiting, how much time they are spending with it and doing what (age appropriate), and so on. Don't use your smartphone when you don't absolutely have to, don't take it out at dinner.
Model a healthy behaviour! Tricky part, of course, what healthy means? This, same as with healthy food, will mean many different things to different people. And that's ok. As long as parents give it a thought and don't just go with the flow.
As for us.. Healthy, it would mean, as I described, using TV for a very specific thing we want to see (we have a huge and nice TV, but we use it couple times a year, as we anyway have only 3 channels..), using computer for a very selected tasks and communication (which might change over the years, with little children around, I would rather not use computer almost at all, when they see it), and phone - only for calling, important communication (one that can't wait until evening, when baby's asleep), calendar, calculator and recipes.
I have been quite bad at this so far, I know that. As the baby is so little, I could still use my phone and computer quite much. When she is sleeping (like now) or even when she's awake and on her own. So far, when she was fine on her own, playing, she couldn't really see me and what I'm doing. But I notice, that she's becoming more and more aware, and that she is noticing if I take my phone now.
So, there will be a natural change of my habits, as I don't want her to see it, I will be using these things pretty much only when she's asleep.
And as for her.. I'm not sure yet, what time will I introduce some first screen activities to her, but I have a couple of years to decide that still. Maybe more than couple of years.
Good luck to us all, and let's hope and pray the world doesn't turn into a too horrible place.. Really, put away your phone and computer! ;)
* P.S. My Husband is a programmer himself, working in IT. So we know very well, how important these technologies are. We know that they have a very useful side, but a totally pointless and harmful side as well.
And we do enjoy our evening TV novel that we watch together, cuddling on a couch and with a cup of tea. ;) When baby is asleep.
One of the common subjects, especially on the Waldorf group, is being media-free. According to Waldorf, children (and people in general, I guess?) don't benefit from any media of any kind, it harms them, so "Waldorf families" are trying to be media free. (Funny to discuss it on a FB group, but ok.. ;))
Similar with Montessori, perhaps not so radical, but there a lot of Montessori-inspired articles of no screen time for children, especially little children.
I seems like a simple subject.. Do you have to be a genius to realize that babies and little children don't gain anything from screens, but it harms them in many ways? Especially children under age of 2. They really should not have any exposure to these things, it's what all the medical and educational articles say, not only the Montessori and Waldorf ones.
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| A random picture from net No, not our baby |
Right.
We are an interesting generation here, because we grew up pretty much without computers, but they came into our lives gradually. We are still the dinosaurs that remember the old days, with no mobile phones and wi-fi.
I was exactly thinking the other day.. Seeing one of those promo videos, that say: Go off your screen and actually talk with people. And I realised, that we still do understand the insanity of the current world, where everyone is in their phone, but for our children it will be a total norm.. Life. That's horrifying. (You probably have seen a movie, WALL-E.)
That's why I don't understand, or don't support this "go totally media-free". I often read that people throw away their TV-sets or even computers (meanwhile hiding a tablet in their bedroom..), but I don't think it's necessarily the best way to go.
There are many families with no TV's, and that is no big deal anymore. A family with no laptop or any screen would be a big deal..
How you use and what, is your choice. But the main thing, when it comes to raising children, I think, is that our task is not to take these things away from them totally (I'm talking about children older than age 3 or more), but our task is to model a healthy media and screen usage and attitude.
It's pretty much the same with anything. You can take away all the sweets and candy from them whatsoever, yes, because it's better for them, but what happens when they grow up and suddenly see those things in the world and are able to do their own choices? They might continue your way.. (after a rebellious period), but they might not. And it might go very wrong.
That's why, our job is to teach them to make those choices. Sensible choices. When it comes to media - teach the advantages of it, the many so convenient and useful tools, show that it can be fun, but same time show an example, that there are other things in the world, that are more fun and more rewarding. Don't throw away your TV-set (if you have one), show your children an important event, show or concert, don't hide your computer, but teach them to use it for meaningful purposes, strictly limiting, how much time they are spending with it and doing what (age appropriate), and so on. Don't use your smartphone when you don't absolutely have to, don't take it out at dinner.
Model a healthy behaviour! Tricky part, of course, what healthy means? This, same as with healthy food, will mean many different things to different people. And that's ok. As long as parents give it a thought and don't just go with the flow.
As for us.. Healthy, it would mean, as I described, using TV for a very specific thing we want to see (we have a huge and nice TV, but we use it couple times a year, as we anyway have only 3 channels..), using computer for a very selected tasks and communication (which might change over the years, with little children around, I would rather not use computer almost at all, when they see it), and phone - only for calling, important communication (one that can't wait until evening, when baby's asleep), calendar, calculator and recipes.
I have been quite bad at this so far, I know that. As the baby is so little, I could still use my phone and computer quite much. When she is sleeping (like now) or even when she's awake and on her own. So far, when she was fine on her own, playing, she couldn't really see me and what I'm doing. But I notice, that she's becoming more and more aware, and that she is noticing if I take my phone now.
So, there will be a natural change of my habits, as I don't want her to see it, I will be using these things pretty much only when she's asleep.
And as for her.. I'm not sure yet, what time will I introduce some first screen activities to her, but I have a couple of years to decide that still. Maybe more than couple of years.
Good luck to us all, and let's hope and pray the world doesn't turn into a too horrible place.. Really, put away your phone and computer! ;)
* P.S. My Husband is a programmer himself, working in IT. So we know very well, how important these technologies are. We know that they have a very useful side, but a totally pointless and harmful side as well.
And we do enjoy our evening TV novel that we watch together, cuddling on a couch and with a cup of tea. ;) When baby is asleep.
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