How it is to be a MOM?
Our days are all so same.. A real routine at home with a baby. But I like it a lot, as I happen to like routine. And also, it is never boring with a baby! She is so funny.. Has the cutest smiles and is happy about every tiny thing. So it's nice everyday life, nothing much to write about.
So I take a moment while she is sleeping outside to write.. How is it, this new life, how it is.. to be a mother?
It's probably early to talk, as I haven't been a parent even for 4 months yet. Whatever I write here, it probably will change a thousand times in the years to come. But still, it is a huge change, it is something incomparable to anything else. At least to me.
I must say, it didn't come to me straight away.. Yes, I have loved her since we found out we will have her (which is almost exactly a year ago), and I adored her since the first second I saw her. But the fact, that she is totally dependant on me now, that we are responsible for her.. That takes a little time to sink in.
First time it hit me harder, was when she was less than a month old, and I got a lymph node inflammation. I had to use antibiotics for it, and those were really strong feelings I had.. That I wasn't worried about myself at all, but about her. (We both were totally fine, thank God.)
It was the first time I felt this indescribable panic.. and worry.
That's one thing about being a parent.. As I read somewhere, they don't usually tell you about one huge side effect of parenting. That along those cute smiles and cuddles, dirty diapers and even sleepless nights, there is the worrying.
You can't compare this worrying with anything else, not even with worrying if your husband is going to get home safely, nothing. This is some totally panic-like gut wrenching feeling, which probably activates some lion-mother protection mechanisms and what-to-do-in-an-emergency-situation feeling as well.
Yeah, that is not a nice feeling. I'm hoping not to experience it too often..
Another moment when I realised that we are her parents, was when we took her for a (routine) check-up at the Children's hospital. Then I also realised.. Yes, we are one of those people with a child now.
But otherways (it seems I'm sounding negative..), to be a mom, it is the best thing in the world! :)
There is no other feeling compared, when she wakes up and cries, and all it takes is for her to see my face, as she is smiling and so happy again. :)
Or this rewarding feeling.. When she gets really nervous and restless at night, when I can feel her anxiety, stress and fear, and I just pull her close to me, and she is at peace. Happy and safe, breathing peacefully.. What an amazing feeling.
(That's why I do not understand at all.. ever.. those parents who can leave their babies to cry. Not human.)
I must say, as I always had wanted a family, and to spend time with my children (as opposed to returning to work quickly), I was a bit afraid.. will I actually enjoy it? Won't it be boring or something?
Well, now I am happy to say, that yes, I do enjoy it a lot, more than anything. And it's defnitely not boring. :)
*And a cute picture from my Instagram..
There is a new word: breastsleeping. :) We are definitely doing it.
So I take a moment while she is sleeping outside to write.. How is it, this new life, how it is.. to be a mother?
I must say, it didn't come to me straight away.. Yes, I have loved her since we found out we will have her (which is almost exactly a year ago), and I adored her since the first second I saw her. But the fact, that she is totally dependant on me now, that we are responsible for her.. That takes a little time to sink in.
First time it hit me harder, was when she was less than a month old, and I got a lymph node inflammation. I had to use antibiotics for it, and those were really strong feelings I had.. That I wasn't worried about myself at all, but about her. (We both were totally fine, thank God.)
It was the first time I felt this indescribable panic.. and worry.
That's one thing about being a parent.. As I read somewhere, they don't usually tell you about one huge side effect of parenting. That along those cute smiles and cuddles, dirty diapers and even sleepless nights, there is the worrying.
You can't compare this worrying with anything else, not even with worrying if your husband is going to get home safely, nothing. This is some totally panic-like gut wrenching feeling, which probably activates some lion-mother protection mechanisms and what-to-do-in-an-emergency-situation feeling as well.
Yeah, that is not a nice feeling. I'm hoping not to experience it too often..
Another moment when I realised that we are her parents, was when we took her for a (routine) check-up at the Children's hospital. Then I also realised.. Yes, we are one of those people with a child now.
But otherways (it seems I'm sounding negative..), to be a mom, it is the best thing in the world! :)
There is no other feeling compared, when she wakes up and cries, and all it takes is for her to see my face, as she is smiling and so happy again. :)
Or this rewarding feeling.. When she gets really nervous and restless at night, when I can feel her anxiety, stress and fear, and I just pull her close to me, and she is at peace. Happy and safe, breathing peacefully.. What an amazing feeling.
(That's why I do not understand at all.. ever.. those parents who can leave their babies to cry. Not human.)
I must say, as I always had wanted a family, and to spend time with my children (as opposed to returning to work quickly), I was a bit afraid.. will I actually enjoy it? Won't it be boring or something?
Well, now I am happy to say, that yes, I do enjoy it a lot, more than anything. And it's defnitely not boring. :)
*And a cute picture from my Instagram..
There is a new word: breastsleeping. :) We are definitely doing it.
Comments
Post a Comment