What did the Waldorf teacher talk about..

So I promised (in my blog post about the "Baby-morning" in the Waldorf kindergarten) to write more about what was discussed there.

As I mentioned, besides us there was one other woman with her son, 2 years and 3 months old. She said they were "practising" the kindergarten. Meaning, she has to work and would like her son to come to this kindergarten. But as he is not ready to be there alone yet, she is coming there with him. He is playing there, getting used to the place, other children and the teachers.

In the beginning of the class, the teacher (a woman who has specialised in children, child psychology, Waldorf related) asked us, how has our summer been, what subjects are important to us at the moment. As I don't have any other worries than Adelaide's pee smelling weirdly, the other woman was telling about her son. And we ended up talking about children and kindergartens, when they are or are not ready. The teacher was also reading some chapters from a book "Laps" (in Estonian), written, as I understood, by some medical doctors-pediatricians, who have specialised in Waldorf philosophy as well.

I was so pleasantly surprised! Kindergartens are kind of an issue for me, because I have never liked them (I have never attended one myself, only preschool, starting at age 5), I have not liked what I have read and heard about them, especially from an acquaintance, who is a kindergarten teacher herself.
So in a perfect case I would not want to put my child(ren) in a kindergarten at all. Or if I would, for some reason (and there might be some), then only when the child is definitely old and and mature enough. However, sometimes there is a weird pressure from society here, that a child really should be put there (almost) as early as possible.

So in this class the Waldorf teacher said (and read) that it really shouldn't be done too early. That this boy, more than 2 years old, is not really ready yet. So little child should be with his mother.

Also the book, written by doctors, said that it's normal to put a child in the kindergarten only then, if he has already developed his own identity, separated his own "I" from his mother, which happens averagely around age 3 (individually, can happen earlier or until age 4). Only then, if the child has previously shown, that he does not need his mother 100% of the time anymore, and if a child is demonstrating a certain degree of independence, it is ok to start leaving him there alone.

The book also said, that it is perfectly fine not to put a child in a kindergarten at all, IF there is a suitable environment at home - a stay-at-home parent who can be involved with the child, suitable materials and daily rhythm, and - importantly - enough of other playmates.

This conversation really gave some peace to me. Reassured me, that I am on the right track. That there are other people out there, who also agree, that child has to be ready and mature, and that mother is the (only) best society for a child in a very young age.




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